Circle of Control: Free Worksheet & Example to Reduce Worry

Life can feel chaotic at times. You might worry about things beyond your control, like the weather or other people’s actions. But there’s a better way to approach life’s challenges. This idea is called the “circle of control.”

Your circle of control includes your thoughts, actions, and choices. It’s the things you have direct power over. Outside that circle are things you can’t control, like other people’s behavior or the weather.

Putting your energy into your circle of control makes life easier.

By learning about the circle of control, you’ll gain tools to manage your thoughts and actions more effectively.

You’ll see how to let go of your worries and prioritize efforts for maximum impact. This can lead to big improvements in both your personal and work life.

What is the Circle Of Control?

The circle of control is a simple way to think about what you have power over. It’s part of a larger idea called the “control circle.” You control what you think, how you feel, and what you do.

Definition of the Circle Of Control

The circle of control is a concept and tool that helps you focus on what you can change in your life. It shows the difference between things you can control directly and those you can only influence or can’t affect at all.

Imagine three circles: the innermost is your circle of control, followed by your circle of influence, and then the circle of concern. The innermost circle reminds you to focus on the things you can decide or do something about right now.

Examples are:

• Your thoughts and attitudes
• Your words and actions
• How you spend your time
• Your reactions to events

It’s smaller than you might think, but it’s where your real power lies. Focusing here lets you make the most impact on your life and happiness.

Origins of the Concept

The Circle of Control is rooted in ancient Stoic philosophy, which emphasized focusing only on what one can influence. Stoic thinkers like Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius taught that inner peace comes from accepting what is beyond our control while taking full responsibility for our actions and decisions. This concept was later adopted in modern psychology, particularly in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), self-development, and coaching frameworks.

Stephen Covey further popularized the idea in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, introducing the Circle of Concern and the Circle of Influence as key frameworks for personal growth. Over time, the Circle of Control was introduced as a distinct category, reinforcing the principle that real change begins with one’s own thoughts, choices, and behaviors.

Today, this three-circle model is widely used in leadership training, personal development, and mental health coaching, offering a structured way to redirect energy toward actionable goals rather than uncontrollable external factors.

Benefits of Focusing on the Circle Of Control

A study titled “Locus of control and subjective well-being: Panel evidence from Australia,” published in the Journal of Economic Behavior & Organization by Kesavayuth et al. found that individuals with an internal locus of control reported higher levels of life satisfaction and better mental health outcomes compared to those who focused on external circumstances.

By training yourself to prioritize what you can control, you can:

• Reduce overwhelm
• Improve decision-making
• Get more done
• Feel more confident and capable
• Cultivate a proactive mindset that leads to long-term success and personal fulfillment.

It’s not always easy to do. You might still worry about things outside your control. Those are the things in your circle of concern. But with practice, you can learn to shift your focus. This can lead to big positive changes in how you feel and what you achieve.

What is the difference between the Circle of Control, Influence, and Concern?

• Control means you have direct power over something. You can make decisions and take actions that lead to certain outcomes. You can choose your words, manage your time, and set your goals. These actions lead to clear results.
• Influence is different from control. It means you can affect something, but you can’t decide the final result. Influence lets you affect things indirectly. You can suggest ideas to your team at work, but you can’t force them to agree. Your input matters, but the final choice isn’t yours.
• Concern relates to things you care about but can’t change. You might worry about a natural disaster, but you can’t stop it from happening. It’s important to recognize these issues without letting them overwhelm you.

Focusing on your circle of control helps you feel more empowered. It lets you put your energy into things you can actually change. This can build emotional resilience and increase your sense of personal power.

How to Identify Your Circle of Control

Knowing what you can control helps you focus your energy on things that matter. It lets you take charge of your life and make real changes.

Step 1: List Your Current Worries

Grab a piece of paper and write down everything that’s bugging you right now. Big or small, put it all on the list. Don’t hold back – this is just for you.

Your worries might include:

• Work deadlines
• Family issues
• Money problems
• Health concerns
• World events

Be honest with yourself. Getting it all out can help you see the bigger picture.

Step 2: Write Things I Can Control vs Things I Can’t Control

Draw two circles on a new sheet of paper. Label the inner circle “Things I Can Control” and the outer circle “Things I Can’t Control.”

Now, look at your worry list. Put each item in the right circle. Be real about what you can actually change.

Things you can control might be:

• Your actions
• Your words
• Your thoughts
• Your choices

Things you can’t control could be:

• Other people’s choices
• The weather
• The economy
• Past events

This visual helps you see where to put your energy.

Step 3: Focus Energy on Actionable Steps

Look at the items in your “Things I Can Control” circle. Pick one to start with. What can you do about it right now?

Break it down into small, doable steps. Maybe you can:

• Make a phone call
• Start a budget
• Schedule a doctor’s visit
• Learn a new skill

Take action on these things. It’ll help you feel more in charge of your life.

For the stuff you can’t control, try to let it go. It’s not easy, but it’ll free up your mind for what really matters.

Example of How to Use the Circle of Control in Everyday Life

Understanding your circle of control is one thing, but knowing how to use it is where the real change happens. When life feels overwhelming, this tool helps you to refocus on controllable elements, take action, and reduce stress.

Here’s a simple step-by-step way to apply the circle of control in your daily life, using anxiety and worry as an example.

Step 1: Recognize What’s Bothering You

Start by identifying the situation that’s causing you stress. Be specific.

Example: You’re feeling anxious about an upcoming work presentation. Thoughts like What if I mess up? Or what if they don’t like my ideas? keep running through your mind.

Step 2: Sort Your Concerns Into the Right Circles

Now, break down your worries into two categories:

1. What you can control (your circle of control)
2. What you can’t control (outside your circle of control)

Example:

Things you CAN control:

• How well you prepare
• Your breathing and posture
• Your practice and rehearsal time
• How you respond to nervous feelings

Things you CAN’T control:

• What your boss thinks of your presentation
• Whether the audience asks tough questions
• How others react to your ideas

Step 3: Shift Your Focus to Action

Once you’ve sorted your worries, focus only on what’s in your control. Take action in those areas.

Example:

Instead of worrying about whether your boss will like your presentation, focus on preparing your content.

• Practice speaking in front of a mirror.
• Time yourself to ensure you stay on track.
• Use deep breathing exercises to stay calm.
• Prepare for possible questions in advance.

Step 4: Let Go of the Rest

This is the hardest part but also the most freeing. When you catch yourself stressing over things outside your control, remind yourself: This is not mine to fix.

Example:

If you start thinking, What if they ask me something I don’t know?—pause. You can’t control the questions, but you can control how you respond. Instead, say: If I don’t know the answer, I’ll be honest and offer to follow up.

Step 5: Repeat and Adjust

Using the circle of control is a habit. The more you practice, the easier it gets. Each time you face a stressful situation, pause and ask:

• What’s in my control?
• What’s outside my control?
• Where should I put my energy?

Over time, this shift can reduce anxiety, boost confidence, and help you focus on what truly matters.

Download the Circle of Control Worksheet 

Frequently Asked Questions

1. How does the Circle of Control help with anxiety?

By focusing on what you can change, the Circle of Control reduces overwhelm, helping individuals feel more in charge of their emotions and actions. This shift in focus is a key principle in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for managing anxiety.

2. Can the Circle of Control improve leadership skills?

Yes! Effective leaders use this concept to focus on strategic decision-making, direct team efforts where they have influence, and avoid wasting energy on uncontrollable external factors.

3. How can the Circle of Control be used in coaching?

In coaching, the Circle of Control be used as a coaching tool to help clients focus on actionable steps rather than external obstacles. Instead of worrying about past failures, a client can work on building confidence, setting realistic goals, and developing new habits to move forward.

4. How can the Circle of Control be used in therapy?

Therapists use it in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help clients manage stress and anxiety. It helps individuals focus on what they can change, such as their thoughts, reactions, and coping strategies, instead of worrying about external factors.

5. What are common misconceptions about the Circle of Control?

A common misconception is that it means ignoring everything outside of it. In reality, while you can’t control external factors, you can influence some situations and control how you respond. Another misunderstanding is that focusing only on your own actions means avoiding collaboration, but it actually helps improve leadership and decision-making.

6. What are real-life examples of the Circle of Control?

• Workplace Stress: You can’t change your boss’s behavior, but you can manage your time and set boundaries.
• Health Goals: You can’t change genetics, but you can improve your diet and exercise habits.
• Parenting: You can’t control your child’s emotions, but you can control your response and communication.
• Daily Life: You can’t control traffic, but you can leave early or adjust your attitude.

7. How can parents teach the Circle of Control to children?

Parents can introduce kid-friendly exercises like:

• Drawing a Control vs. No-Control Chart with relatable examples.
• Asking kids to list what they can do in frustrating situations, like “I can ask for help” instead of “I can’t control my friend’s behavior.”
• Using storytelling to explain the concept with real-life situations.

Conclusion

The circle of control gives you a tool to focus on what matters. By zeroing in on things you can change, you gain more power over your life. This mindset helps you feel less stressed and more in charge.

Remember, you can’t control everything. But you can always control how you respond. Your thoughts, words, and actions are yours to choose. This idea can guide your daily choices.

Try applying the circle of control to your goals. What steps can you take today? Even small actions add up over time. You might be surprised by how much you can achieve.