Comments on: “You Look So Skinny” Is NOT A Compliment!

By: Gio

Gio — Fri, 07 Apr 2017 19:38:36 +0000

In reply to kithmini. Kithmini, *hugs* My heart goes out to you. The way our society treats body weight is a form of torture indeed and, unfortunately, too many innocent people like you are suffering its consequences. Please, please, please, seek professional help. You don't have to tell anyone you are doing it, if it makes you feel uncomfortable. But you need to talk to someone about this. It's not a fight you can win on your own. Not because you're not strong enough but because no one can deal with this on their own. If you're not ready for professional help, talk to your mom or a trusted friend. But, please, don't carry this burden alone. It will destroy you. You can be a normal weight, eat normally and be hot. These things aren't mutually exclusive. So, please, don't be afraid to reach out to someone, anyone.

By: kithmini

kithmini — Wed, 22 Mar 2017 00:10:20 +0000

I agree with you totally Gio. I have been struggling the last 6 months (maybe even year) with extremely negative thoughts about how I look. I hated the fact that I had gained weight during my final year of high school, often eating late and copious amounts to distract from the stress. Coming into university into a course (medicine) where all the girls are slim and secretly pride themselves on their svelte figures during physical examination practices made me feel really insecure. I have never been overweight even at my heaviest but I was so obsessed with losing weight that I counted calories (1200 max) for over 3 months and lost hardly any weight.
I was so devastated the weight wasn’t budging. Then summer holidays came and I took things a step too far: exercising at least an hour everyday, skipping breakfast, having maybe a yoghurt for lunch and then the most miniscule portion for dinner. On top of this, I was constantly on my feet. I succeeded. I lost 15kg. I became underweight (BMI17). And to compliment my new figure, I lost my period and bundles of hair.
Now I am terrified to eat normally again, to gain weight. In all honesty, I don’t now what normal eating is. And what makes it worse is that my girlfriends compliment my weight loss. “dang girl, you look so hot! what did you do during the holidays to lose so much weight!” or “OMG tell me how you got so skinny!” those are the comments I got. Now I am truly terrified to return to a healthy weight. I am terrified if I do, I won’t be considered “hot” anymore.
It’s crazy what the words “you look so skinny” can do to someone’s mind. Those words are truly torturous.

By: Gio

Gio — Tue, 06 Sep 2016 15:04:22 +0000

In reply to Joan.

Joan, thank you for your comment.

Why do you think that telling someone is skinny is paying them a compliment? Why does it feel so good for you to hear it? Because you value skinny, and if skinny is so valued, doesn’t that mean that all other types of bodies are somehow wrong or at the very least inferior? Can you see the problem now?

You think skinny is good because you grew up in a society that valued this particular body type above all others, hence all your hard efforts to conform your body to this standard. But not all body types can be skinny. Lots of women are naturally curvy. Are they supposed to diet and exercise their way into a skinny body to be told they’re pretty or be valued by society? That’s a road that only leads to unhappiness, depression, and eating disorders.

Yes, obesity is a real problem. But do you know that the latest research is showing that it’s NOT the extra fat that causes the diseases associated with obesity but the unhealthy lifestyle these people have and the stigma they have to put up with on a daily basis? Treating these people with compassion and love rather than telling them their bodies are wrong would help them solve their problems more easily.

By: Joan

Joan — Mon, 05 Sep 2016 23:31:26 +0000

It’s so not how it is!!! Yes if you have clinical eating disorder , that words might be a problem. But for the rest of us it’s so great to hear that we look skinny! Especially if we really take a lot of work, exercises to look like this!! And yes being in normal weight ( not really skinny) is good for your health . Obesity is a real problem. So I believe that if someone is fighting with it it’s ok to tell him something nice about their body.

By: Gio

Gio — Sat, 13 Aug 2016 18:58:06 +0000

In reply to Amy. Amy, haha! You are so lucky to have such smart friends. We would all be healthier and happier if we all focused on health and not on looks.

By: Amy

Amy — Sat, 13 Aug 2016 14:24:28 +0000

I got lucky with my friends because this was rarely something I heard until recently. But even now, I think I’m lucky because even though some comments between the young women I know are focused on appearance, we try to keep it focused on health. For example, a friend is working out a lot and someone would say ” you look so skinny! How’s that yoga going, do you feel good?” Then we get to talk about exercise, how it makes us feel, not just how it makes us look. Even if sometimes the answer is, it makes me feel tired! haha